Returning home after 3 ½ months in Kenya, I had exactly one month before leaving again for this trip to Nicaragua. One month isn't much time when it means transitioning back into American life after being immersed into African culture. But the hardest part of coming out of Africa was leaving the 12 people on my team who had become my family and the people who know me best. And truthfully, I never left Africa.
Coming into training camp, I knew I would have to surrender my Team Kenya to God. If I was to have deep, intimate relationships with my new team, I would have to resist comparison. It's impossible to look back and distinctly remember how my first team was at training camp, how little we really knew each other. Because we spent the next 3 months learning everything and more about each other and developing such a deep love for one another that going back to old ways isn't an option.
Though I've been to camp before, heard the same stories, done the same activities, I'm in new territory. I've had to learn new names and faces and get past the awkward beginning phases even with the knowledge that we'll inevitably become close. I never imagined that I would have to write “Team Kenya” on my log as I carried it around the forest as a sign of something to surrender to God. This was particularly hard during the inspirational talks about what we'll experience on the field because I've already been there. The memories consume me until I'm not longer in a room in Atlanta, but back in Kenya.
Struggling with comparison, I took refuge in the only place I could. God. At every worship, during every prayer, I asked God to help me surrender Team Kenya. God told me something important that has helped me come out of Africa and be fully engaged in the present and with my new team. I don't have to let Team Kenya go. They will always have a special place in my heart that no family can replace. But I also have enough love in my heart for a new team, a new family. Team Nicaragua is different, but that's a good thing. We're not as close now as we can be, but we have all the potential and willingness to dive deeper as a team. Now all I have to do is stop saying “asante sana” and focus on saying “muchas gracias” instead! Nicaragua will be amazing, and I'm so excited for the ministry opportunities ahead. Nicaragua here we come!
