You Know You're In Nica When…
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A 2 Liter soda seems so small…and is cheaper than water.
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The meat in your enchilada is always unknown.
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There are at least 3 people on every bicycle and motorcycle.
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You wear jeans so the sweat doesn't show on your legs after a 5 second ride in the truck.
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You're not worried about great black billows of smoke coming from across the street
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You may have to get creative if you want to run every day. Fighting off dogs is a common issue.
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Out of nowhere, you're suddenly a grandma. Your dog has puppies.
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It's raining beetles.
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Scorpions are your bed buddies.
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The 2nd most common language is whistling.
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You point with your lips, not your fingers.
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One of the first 3 questions anyone asks is if you are single.
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Ice is a real treat.
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A/C is a foreign concept.
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Eskimo is God's blessing. The sound of bells from the ice-cream cart is music to your ears. Also, you realize you're totally living up to the fat American stereotype when the ice-cream man comes right up to your doorstep, knowing he's gonna make bank that day.
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Your novio is a 9 month old baby.
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Babies cry when they want Coke.
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The sound of a pig dying is completely normal.
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Your self-esteem grows tremendously from getting hit on all day long by men of all ages, shapes, sizes, and relationship statuses.
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You never need to tell anyone that their fly is down because it's intentional. Underwear is optional.
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The road is the basura (trash). Feel free to chuck an entire plate of food out the window of a moving (or non-moving) bus.
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When something out of the ordinary happens, you just sigh and say, "Schwell, Esta Bien."
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You show up an hour late to anything and things are just about to begin.
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5 second rule turns into a minute rule.
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When it's questionable what your stomach problems are coming from, try ALL the medicines in the free clinic!
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There's a volcano in your backyard. Nbd.
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It's not necessary to shave your legs…you fit right in with the women here!
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Rice is the main dish of every meal. Everything else is just a side.
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Kids come out of the womb knowing how to kick a soccer ball.
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You teach your Nicaraguense friends new phrases like "De schnada" and "Hota-kah".
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When you have a pot-belly, flaunt it in the hot weather by folding your shirt up.
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You may have your heart stolen by some muy especial people 🙂
