Sometimes you just have to do things you really don't want to do. This trip I've had plenty of days where I woke up thinking, “I really don't feel like going to ministry today.” There were plenty of circumstances when it would have been easier to just shrug my shoulders and not try to understand the fast, slurred Spanish of the person in front of me.
This trip I've learned a lot about perseverance and trusting God. At particular moments of exhaustion or burnout, I didn't understand the impact weeks of painting and working at an orphanage could have upon advancing God's kingdom. It just felt like I was painting a wall. Most of the time I maintained a positive attitude, but when the combination of inhaling paint fumes and heat in the sauna-like room gave me a headache, I was less than enthusiastic. In those moments, I had to just give everything to God and say, “I don't feel like doing this; I don't understand why I'm doing this, but if that's what you have for me today then I'll do it.”
Painting a building at the orphanage
The finished building, painted inside and out
FAITH over FEELINGS, this has been one of the greatest lessons I've learned these last five months. Originally introduced to this phrase by my fall Kenya leader (thanks Neal Montgomery!), I've learned to walk in FAITH instead of in feelings. So when presented with ministry that I didn't feel like doing, I just had to trust that God had a purpose in it. I had to put my faith in God and give it my all.
After several weeks (not sure how many…I lost track) of working at the orphanage, our work projects were complete and it was finally time to say goodbye. The nice couple that runs the orphanage had a big farewell lunch for us and told us of their gratitude. Before our arrival, the orphanage needed lots of work done with no one to do it. Being on a tight, month to month budget, they just got the supplies for paint and work materials but no one to do the work itself. With the upcoming arrival of more children and a visit from the organization that started the orphanage, the couple was in desperate need of help and asked God to send them help. Enter us, a large team of gringo missionaries ready and willing to work. With tears in their eyes, they told us that we were the answer to a prayer.
Saying farewell to the orphanage
“Oh, ok God, I understand,” I thought as I listened to the sincere gratitude of the couple. Maybe for those weeks of ministry we weren't preaching the gospel, but we were living it out. Our service to them and the children was the answer to a prayer. It was amazing to finally see the fruit of our work. I realize now that many times we won't be able to see the purpose behind what God asks us to do. We just have to keep the faith and do it because God has a purpose in everything He does.
Marching on, that's been my mindset this trip on days when giving up or giving into a negative attitude seemed tempting. God has gotten me through the harder days and blessed them with unexpected adventures. The good and great days far outnumber the bad or average ones. The relationships built and the goals accomplished are worth the work put into them. As a team we've been through a lot together. With about three weeks of our trip left, it would be easy to just get through them. But we're a team that is determined to finish stronger than ever, marching on in whatever God has planned for us!
