Ever feel left out?
Yea, everyone has.Well on Thursday night, I felt left out. Not with my team, but with God….
The session we had on Thursday was about the Holy Spirit and different ways God talks to us. Near the end of the talk we had time to talk to God and ask for a vision. Though I didn’t have a vision I felt the presence of God with me.
For the last part of the Listening Prayer exercise we got into our full group. Half of the group stood with their eyes closed and the other half picked someone with their eyes closed to lay a hand on them. The person with their eyes closed then prayed and spoke words about the other persons character.
I was nervous but excited as I place my hand on Jared’s shoulder. He then spoke to me about how I was loved, had had wonderful support from my family, and how I would change the world. It was supper encouraging to me, but at the back of my mind I wondered if I would be able to do that for the next person.
When it became time for me to close my eyes, I prayed that I could do it. My eyes had just closed when my teammate put her hand on my shoulder. At that instant I became nervous and overcome with fear. I asked and hoped to see a word. But once again it didn’t happen. I spoke a blessing over her but no words came to my mind.
So there I was in my group hearing these wonderful things that God spoke through our teammates, feeling left out.
God had spoken through everyone but me.
That night I asked God again and again why He had never spoken through me. I came to the conclusion that it was my pride. I felt to prideful so God decided He wasn’t going to speak through me.
I continued feeling this way through the morning worship center as I tried to worship God while still being frustrated. After worship the speaker talked about being baptized to before being sent out in missions. Jesus was affirmed before He had started ministry and so we should so the same.
The leaders stood at the from of the room and when we felt led we were to go to one and be blessed. I felt called to go and be blessed by the speaker. I told him what I was battling with and he prayed over me and declared that all my fear and pride was in the past. After He finished He told me to go and pray for others because I had it and it was time to share it.
So I went around asking the spirit to lead me. As I walked around the room praising Him I was drawn to one girl in the corner. I went over and prayed with her and the words just came out of my mouth. The Spirit was present in that moment and continued to be with me as I prayed with 3 more girls.
I felt empowered and blessed to be able to pray over people and speak truth into their lives.
After some timer we were told we would go out and do evangelism I Gainesville. And for the first time in my life I was EXCITED to share the gospel message.
I’ve been told how told how to do evangelism before and I know its Gods calling for us, but I’ve never been really excited about it. I do it, but the back of my mind is overcome with fear that I’m not good enough.
As follow God’s call for my life, I am so excited to be used by God, share the Gospel, and show love to the people of Nicaragua!!
