This is the tenth airplane I've ever been on. Along side me are two delta planes and one ahead getting ready to take off. Between the three planes, I'm sure one carries Leigha, one Wendi, and one Jennifer. Why do I assume this? Simply because we all had similar departure times and they are all flying Delta. Going the opposite way to take off is an Air Tran Airplane probably carrying Calah. All of us leaving each other for the first time in four months.
Behind me a woman speaks and I think it's Britt, I hear a unmistakable ounce of laughter and I look quickly beside me to find Wendi. I can't really wrap my head around not having these 8 women in my life constantly. Leigha's attempts at joking and then searching for glances of approval, Saleena's huge smile that's never hiding, Hope… oh Hope. Always trying to make everything the best it can be and Alisa over exaggerating almost every phrase that leaves her lips. And me, I already know the girls will miss my sass and unusual word usage.
I'm right back where I started, on a plane. Of course it's warmer now in Minnesota and I think about all the times I longed to be home. The times I longed to see my best friends, to sit with my family or just to lay in my own bed. But I realize Nueva Vida was my home, I guess I always knew that but I realize it more now that I'm not there. I can look down at my wrist and see my bracelet from Justo and miss La Quinta and all that comes with it. I can look at the 3 inch regrowth of my natural hair color for all to see and untamed eyebrows only to be reminded of my simple life in Nicaragua.
As much as I long to be back there I know that it's over. I know it's over at this time for a reason but the tears don't stop dripping down my face. I miss my sisters so much, all eight of them. This time last week I thought I was going through the hardest goodbye, the goodbye to all of my Nicaraguan friends and family, yet today one Sunday later- I was faced with the hardest goodbye yet. Saying goodbye sister by sister, slightly tearing up each time and completely losing it at the end.
All of the people in my gate look at me, curious as to why I'm crying, the old woman next to me asking all about why I'm traveling back to Minnesota. Meanwhile, I'm praising God this is who He's placed next to me. I put my laptop down for a while and read a magazine. Filled with fashion tips and weight loss solutions, while I do have a rice belly I don't care about any of this. It's all meaningless and I'm impressed I feel that way after being out of the States for four months.
I can see out my plane window that the cities are right below, their about to tell us to shut off our electronics and I'm about to embark on a whole new journey. It's going to be hard, it's going to be different but that's because I'm different. I know God will lead me where He needs me to go and I've already committed to listen. I guess this is what real life is all about… just like I said in my first blog, I'm ready for this- bring it on. It doesn't really matter whom I'm with or where I'm living, I'll keep being free.
