Sorry if I don’t meet your expectations…

I am sorry if you think I am irresponsible for taking a semester off school…
 
I am sorry if you were planning on me graduating in 2014 and getting a Bachelor’s Degree in Exercise Science…
 
I am sorry if after those four years of Undergraduate School you were expecting me to go for three more years of Graduate School to Physical Therapy School…
 
I am sorry if you think raising $4,400 for me to go live in Nicaragua for four months was a waste and that it would have been better for me to just send the money here…
 
I am sorry if the fact that I am 20 years old and still a virgin seems like a foreign idea to you or to our society…
 
I am sorry that I may seem like no fun or judgmental because I choose not to drink and do drugs…
 
I am sorry that my skin isn’t always perfect, and I look nothing like a girl from the cover of a magazine…
 
I am sorry that you may not approve of my piercings and tattoos and may think that I am a rebel for having them…
 
I am sorry if you are upset by the fact that I do not think that right now the Lord is calling me back to school in the fall, and instead is calling me back into the mission field…
 
I am sorry that many of you may be disappointed by the fact that the Lord may never call me back to college and that it is still uncertain at this time…
 
I am sorry if my life doesn’t line up with the criteria for the “American Dream” life you may have been hoping that I would of lived…
 
BUT HERE ARE SOME THINGS I AM NOT SORRY FOR…
 
I AM NOT SORRY THAT I AM NOT CALLED TO SERVE MEN, BUT TO SERVE GOD AND HIM ALONE! (Galatians 1:10)
 
I am NOT sorry that God called me to take a semester off and that it has been an incredible growing opportunity that I could not have received in the States…
 
I am NOT sorry that Exercise Science and Physical Therapy would have never satisfied my desires because they were not God-given desires…
 
I am NOT sorry and neither are my supporters that I am here and I AM making a difference in Nicaragua, and that every single penny was worth it, it wasn’t our money to begin with, GOD is the only way and reason that I am living in Nicaragua right now…
 
I am NOT sorry that my body is a temple and I plan on keeping myself pure until God grants me with a strong man of God to take as my husband…
 
I am NOT sorry that I am FEARFULLY and WONDERFULLY made in the image of Christ, and He loves me just as I am…(Ps. 139:14)
 
I am NOT sorry that I have been called to make FISHERS of MEN, and that I find my sole purpose in that, even if that means college has to wait, or possibly may never be finished… (Mt. 4:19-20)
 
I am NOT sorry that the “American Dream” could never compare to the life God has planned for me, He plans on giving me life and life to the fullest! (John 10:10)
 
If any of you know me personally you know that people pleasing has been a struggle for me my entire life. I have been so concerned with what others may think about me that I have missed out on the WONDERFUL things that God has for me. God has convicted me of this in these past few weeks and although it will be a long healing process, I am working at no longer pleasing the people around me, but PLEASING GOD ALONE!
 
Here are some quotes and verses that God has laid on my heart while working through my people-pleasing struggle and teaching me to depend on Him and not myself or anyone else:  
 
“The times where we are fully alive and fully engaged are small glimpses of how life is suppose to be, there is a gap between what life is ‘suppose’ to be and how it really is.”- Unknown
 
“Lack of contentment is the result of the terrible burden of wanting life on your terms.” –Lady in Waiting
 
“A person who is obsessed is characterized by committed, settled, passionate love for God, above and before every other thing and every other being.” –Crazy Love
 
“We are NOT a part of anything earthly. Put your heart and mind on heavenly matters.” –Pastor from Common Ground Church in Indianapolis, IN
 
“I pray that you will take away my feelings and desires of wanting to please and be loved by others… I WILL FOLLOW NO MATTER THE COST!” – A prayer I wrote in my journal exactly 2 months ago today, THANK YOU JESUS for answering prayers! (1/14/12)
“I want to be OBSESSED with you Jesus. I want to live a life that is so much more abundant than what the ‘American Dream’ has to offer. So God please help me to feel desperate for you and to be obsessed and in LOVE with you.” –Prayer I wrote at Training Camp before coming to Nicaragua (1/17/12) Again, answered prayers… GOD IS SO GOOD!
 
“Are you tired? Worn out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me-watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” –Matthew 11:28-30 (MSG)
 
“Jesus said. ‘No procrastination. No backward looks. You can’t put God’s kingdom off till tomorrow. Seize the day!” –Luke 9:62
 
“Obsessed people are more concerned with obeying God than doing what is expected or fulfilling the status quo. A person who is obsessed with Jesus will do things that don’t always make sense in terms of success or wealth on this earth.”
-Crazy Love
 
So my challenge to you dear friends, is to ask, whom are you choosing to serve? Because we were NOT made to serve men, and man will never fulfill or satisfy our desires!