“I can see in you the glance of a curious sort of bird. With the close set bars of a cage; a vivid, restless captive. When it put free it would soar cloud high.”
– Jane Eyre, ‘Mr. Rochester’
I had planned to stay home for a while.
I had planned to earn some money for a while.
I had planned to love on my family for a while.
Iv’e noticed that my plans never work out. The little ones, maybe, but not the take action sort that I set in the “close-distant” future. You see, once I decided to let the Lord have control over where He wanted to use me in life. . . He got really excited about that. And so in this past year Iv’e been to 12 different countries and lived in 11 of them.
Wow.
Even that sentence amazes me.
When that year came to a close and a new season was about to begin I asked God where He wanted me.
Ya know? Thinking maybe staying at home with my family to earn a little bit of cash might be a nice season.
Well no, that’s not exactly what He had in mind.
He was thinking more along the lines of a new country. One I had yet traveled to.
Nicaragua. For the next three months.
Here’s how it went down.
When I had been home (the U.S. of A.) for about a month I decided to head to Project Search Light (a conference for newly finished Racers) to reunite with my squad for some time and just chill in the presence of God. Little did I know the Lord was going to ask me to leave again.
*sigh*
~after hearing about AIM needing a leader for the Nicaragua Passport trip this is the conversation that me and Zion (the Lord) had~
Me: “So I heard they need a leader for a Passport trip. . .huh. . (a short pause in time). . .oooh noo ya don’t. . . please don’t ask me to go.”
Him: “I didn’t say anything.”
Me: “You don’t have to. I can feel what your saying.”
Him: *an all knowing grin*
Me: “It’s me isn’t it? I’m the leader they need for the Nicaragua trip?”
Him: “Is that what you’re feeling?”
Me: “Well yeah, kind of. I’ve realized that the things I DON’T want to do in life are the things You REALLY want me to do. Something about growth, or whatever.”
Him: “Well look at you learning! Now go ahead and say yes so you can get on out there and learn some more!”
Me: “You enjoy this way too much, You little sneak.”
~momentary end~
Needless to say I went through a roller coaster of emotions. I was excited. I was sad. But the best emotion of them all was that I felt tremendously loved. So I said yes.
Yeah. I had planned all of these things that I wanted to do after my return from the race, but the Lord had planned something way better. And even though my first reaction was to blatantly say no, because that’s what my flesh was telling me to do, I knew my spirit would have gotten seriously upset with me.
I’m in Nicaragua now and I honestly couldn’t be more happy/blessed with God’s decision. The girls that said yes themselves to this trip have taught me so much already. I can not wait to see what else they teach me *-* They’re such beautiful creations. I lerv em’.
Whenever I say yes to the Lord I feel the most alive. I feel the most loved.
It’s the scariest, best feeling I have ever felt.
I am loved.
I am alive.
“For I know the thoughts that I think towards you,” says the Lord, “thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and hope. Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me and find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart.”
-Jeremiah 29:11 – 13
I am super pumped to have this opportunity to lead, however I was unable to raise the support needed to fund this trip. Please help me spread the word of this need by sharing my story. The total cost is $1800. If you are looking for a cool tithe opportunity I would really appreciate your partnership. Thank you for reading, and I hope to share some stories from the field with you soon!
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