There were no words. It was one of those days when I literally had no words. No words to describe the sadness I was feeling. No words to offer a comforting comment. And it didn't even matter that I had no words, as there was nothing I could have said to actually provide comfort.
On Tuesday afternoon my friend Tonio passed away. Over the course of a few weeks, I had developed a friendship with Tonio, one of the many men with the kidney disease. (Read my past blogs “Blood Money” and “Watching a Miracle Unfold” for the full story.) My heart for Tonio extended beyond the moments that I sat with him in his yard. He was in my heart everyday since the first time I met him, and in my prayers every time that I came before the Father.
I've spend the last few days working through the emotions and thoughts following Tonio's sudden death. Sadness, anger, confusion, and doubt were just a few of the emotions running through my head. Through all of my questioning, I've come out of the fire with a new peace. The miracle I witnessed in Tonio's renewed strength was God's gift to his family and friends. Instead of laying in bed, Tonio was able to visit with them in his final days on earth. There is also an incredible miracle in his death. Tonio now lives with our Father in heaven, free of his near constant pain.
Here is a poem I wrote two days after Tonio's death. There were no words, but now here are a few. I hope that they can clearly express my new feelings. I pray that they be a comfort to anyone dealing with the loss of a loved one. Written in loving memory of Tonio.
“In Loving Memory”
Watch the world pass you by,
Final breaths from life's first cry,
Your life's been hard, that's plain to see,
But soon of this you'll be set free,
So rest, my friend, there's no more strife,
The struggles fought throughout your life,
Have passed away, they're gone and dead,
And finally you can rest your head,
I promise now there's no more pain,
Just listen as He calls your name,
Don't cry for me, I'll be ok,
Knowing we'll meet again one day,
It's time to part, I'll see you there,
Where new life starts without a care,
And in my heart you always be,
There in loving memory
