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mirror|ˈmirər| noun
a reflective surface, now typically of glass coated with a metal amalgam, that reflects a clear image

 
Kristen- age nineteen, finds herself sorting through a box of old stuff. Looking through she finds old photographs, notes, keepsakes and four mirrors. She can’t recall ever putting any mirrors in this box but she picks one up anyway. The first mirror is small, handheld, completely pink and covered in sparkles. As she gazes at her reflection she’s taken back…

It’s summer, she’s sitting on a swing set with Teya wearing a sundress smudged with dirt but your attention is immediately drawn to the confusion on her face. She’s just lost a piece of her innocence, but she doesn’t understand what had just happened- she just knows it wasn’t right.

Kristen gets emotional as she remembers that day. The first day she was sexually abused by someone she loved and trusted very much. She can’t believe she was pulled back to that day, she thought she was restored from all of that and can’t understand why one memory is affecting her so much.

Frustrated she puts the mirror down and picks up the second, this one is a bit bigger, her hands stick to the sides from the residue left behind from the stickers that once decorated it. It’s purple, magnetic and very worn out- she remembers it hanging in her locker every year of junior high. She looks in the mirror and sees herself…

She’s thirteen again, so naïve, thinking she had it all and knew it all. Focused on herself and what others thought of her. Emotions buried deep within her soul, behind her eyes you could see a girl fighting to let it all out, but she keeps walking down the school hallway holding it all in.

She looks towards the ceiling as she hears the secretary announcing “Kristen Hary, please come down to the office.” With nervous thoughts and sweaty palms she walked briskly towards the main office, just before she opened the door she wiped her hands on her jeans and the door opened before her. There stood a woman she didn’t recognized and Teya…

            Teya looks at her and says, “Kristen, this is Cadence, she’s a counselor. Well, she’s actually my counselor, I’ve been seeing her since I started High School- you know to try and sort out past issues. I thought you might want to talk to her?”

            Kristen leans back against her bed and remembers this. This was the beginning to a lot of inner healing and a lot of hard work. It was the first time she had ever told anyone the full story about being abused, well anyone that wasn’t Teya. She was scared, she was sad but mostly she saw a glimpse of freedom. She realized by holding all of it in she wasn’t fully embracing the identity God gave her as a young woman. It was the beginning of becoming who she wanted to be…

            Setting the mirror down Kristen remembered that day, how she felt so nervous at first but walked out of the office looking forward to what was to come. She never really thought about the difference that one encounter made in her life. It was the start of her talking it all out, seeing how the world would pull her into healing and instead choosing to seek God for ultimate healing. She thought about all the tears that poured out, all the times she wanted to just give up and bury it again, but even more clearly she thought about the day she learned of true restoration. Yea, that was a good day, a day set apart from any other- A day that would forever change the kind person she would be.

            Not only did it cause a change in her day to day emotions, but also in her interactions with others. She was much more compassionate, always trying to talk to everyone, even if her friends didn’t agree. She was ridding herself of selfishness and trying to reflect a love that was pure and blameless. The kind of love she received when she felt shameful and full of stains. Remembering this Kristen smiled, she was thankful for God placing Cadence into her life to bring order back into the song that she called life.

            She picked up another, the rearview mirror broken off the inside of her jeep, with a tassle hanging from it reading “class of ’10.” She didn’t have to look long before she saw herself wearing the blue and gold graduation cap and gown. This day seemed so long ago yet it was just under a year ago. She was smiling, grown up and looking ahead to her future. Her family was standing beside her, looking at her with proud eyes and a heart filled with gratitude and love.

            She was in a good place, she was happy and ready to take on anything put before her. But this image alone was proof of a huge accomplishment, thirteen years of school, friendships and heartaches all wrapped up into one day and one diploma that couldn’t possibly explained all that had happened since kindergarten. It couldn’t explain healings that took place or the fleeting lies that once enveloped her mind, it couldn’t explain people walking in and out of her life while she just stood by and watched. At one point that season of life seemed like the hardest…

            Kristen put the mirror down, missing the simplicity of it all; feeling sad about all the people she’d leave behind as this season of her life ended. She realized it was only a few short days after her graduation that she decided to set out and do something bigger than herself. She figured out college wasn’t what she wanted in this season of life, she just wanted to go out and love up on people even if that meant leaving the comfort of her own little world.

            This lead her right into the last mirror, a 5×7 mirror framed with wood. Painted all around the glass were beautiful colors, volcanoes, flowers and right above the top was the word “Nicaragua”. She looked deeply into this one knowing some of what she would see. In the beginning a woman who stood confidently with a faith that wouldn’t be shaken, but was ready to be challenged. At the time she had no idea of the difficulty ahead, but she knew if it would be anything like the healing she’d experienced that year, or the genuine love she encountered she’d be alright.

            This mirror mainly held the memories of four months of missions work in Nicaragua. A journey she thought would involve change in others, and ended up being a whole lot of change in herself. A season of new friendships based on true love and honesty. A season of being broken and humble before the Lord daily, seeing the broken hearts all over and trying to mend them through Christ. A time that revealed more about her than even she knew, it was confirmed, God led her there for such a time…

            She set the mirror down, taped up the box and kept packing. She was ready for her next journey with no destination in mind. Being lead by the spirit and begging God to continue and change her plans she put her back pack on, plane ticket in hand and headed out the front door. Not looking back at anything except the reminders life had left her.