As I walked down the gateway into the Atlanta airport, I felt bewildered as I looked down the long corridor of glass windows and out at the countless shining cars racing up and down the twisted highways, zipping away toward the skyscrapers. A thin sheet of glass was all that stood between me and what was supposed to be my “reality”. But I knew this wasn’t so. This was not where I belonged. Yet when I said adiós to all my little brothers and sisters, my friends and my “family” in Nicaragua, I was ready to go “home”. But now that I’m there, or here, it isn’t quite how I thought it would be. Something, or perhaps someone, has changed.
According to Peter, we really are “aliens and strangers in the world” (1 Peter 2:11). As I struggle with reconciling the two realities that I have experienced, I am struck by the fact the ultimate reality is one that I have only begun to experience in part.
“But as it is, they desire a better country, that is, a heavenly one.” –Hebrews 11:16
On this journey in Nicaragua, God gave me a new heart. He gave me a heart that is steadily growing larger and softer for the things of God.
One song that the girls at Casa Betesda loved singing over and over again was “Hosanna” by Hillsong. The day before we left, they were practicing a new dance to this song with ribbon twirlers, and as the colors flew up and down, tumbling into one another, I thought about the words…
Sáname y límpiame
Con mis ojos tus obras quiero ver
Quiero amarte como tú me amas
Muéstrame tu corazón
Todo lo que soy por tu reino, Dios
Contigo quiero estar por la eternidad
Heal my heart and make it clean
Open up my eyes to the things unseen
Show me how to love like You have loved me
Break my heart for what breaks Yours
Everything I am for Your Kingdom’s cause
As I walk from earth into eternity
God has opened up my eyes to the things and people unseen. I’ve learned to take notice. Our eyes are accustomed to taking notice of the shiny, the brand new, the beautiful. It is the things and the people whom the world deems beautiful that most often catch our eyes. But Jesus calls us to see with Kingdom eyes. His eyes “pierce through the hardened heart, see the good beyond the sin’s ugly stain, and see the life broken and ruined by iniquity and the restoration brought by an ugly cross” (Jesus’ Eyes).
“Blessed be the one who took notice of you.” –Ruth 2:19
Eyes are the windows to your soul. The eyesight a person chooses to use to view the world is a reflection of his heart. This summer God allowed me to see some His beloved children with His eyes, and in doing so, gave me a greater glimpse into His heart.
Cristal, Josselin, and I
“The world is not moved by love or actions that are of human creation.” –Francis Chan
Thirst is cultivated in dry places. Comfort, on the other hand, often dulls our spirits and clouds our eyes to God’s goodness. “Like an oasis, God’s goodness is found in dry and difficult places. Sometimes God’s gifts are seen more clearly when we are tired and thirsty.” (Our Daily Bread)
The brokenness in Nicaragua is so physically evident that it cannot be hidden except perhaps behind empty traditions and meaningless religiosity. Over the course of this summer in Nicaragua, God broke my heart for His people there. And as a result, I was challenged, encouraged, humbled, and loved in return. Here in the United States, it is much easier to hide relational brokenness behind the stuff and fluff and busyness of everyday. Comfortable expectations and successful endeavors can keep us from seeing God at work in the details of our lives. God does not weave with invisible thread. I pray that God will crush my heart daily and make it soft and moldable to His plans and purposes for His people.
“What matters is not faith and works; it is not faith or works; it is faith that works.” –Our Daily Bread
Thank you all for your faithful prayers over the course of this summer. Your faith, love, and support has changed more lives than you know.
Hiking the hills of Matagalpa
Praise:
- Thank God I am home at last, safe and sound!
- Thank God for the incredible work that He has done in and through me this summer, changing my heart forever.
Pray:
- Ask God for guidance as I continue to process all that He has done and shown me in Nicaragua, and as I transition into a new school year as a junior at the University of Michigan.
- Ask God for words to share of all He has done!
- Ask God to continue to care for His children in Ometepe, Granada, and Casa Betesda (Managua); pray for protection and provision, and that He would daily turn their hearts to His own heart of love.
“For we cannot help speaking about what we have seen and heard.” –Acts 4:20
